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Blessed and Broken: The Reality of Secondary Infer...

Blessed and Broken: The Reality of Secondary Infertility

To conclude our series on Infertility for National Infertility Awareness Week, we are talking about Secondary Infertility. Did you miss the other posts in the series? You can find them here and here. If you have been able to conceive one child without the use of fertility treatments than it should be possible to again, right? Just the fact that you have had one biological proves that you are fertile.

The heartbreaking reality is, this is not always the case. Resolve defines Secondary Infertility as “the inability to become pregnant, or to carry a pregnancy to term, following the birth of one or more biological children. The birth of the first child does not involve any assisted reproductive technologies or fertility medications.” Just like with Infertility, you struggle in silence. Everyone just assumes that since you got pregnant once, it can happen again. All of a sudden you are being a selfish parent by not giving you child a brother or sister. But what they fail to see is the broken heart beating inside you because you can’t give your child a brother or sister. They can’t see the inner struggle and the same emotional rollercoaster ride that couples dealing with Infertility are riding on. Because while those couples struggling with Secondary Infertility do have one child, the pain of not being able to conceive again is real. Helane S. Rosenberg and Yakov M. Epstein, authors of Getting Pregnant When You Thought You Couldn’t, put it this way: “You have lost your membership in the primary infertility group by attaining the dream (they) still long for. … Yet you feel you do not really belong to the world of the fertile.” They call secondary infertility the “loneliest kind,” a depressingly apt description.

What causes Secondary Infertility? As with Infertility, there is no one direct cause. It could be poor nutrition, stress, weight gain. Egg and sperm quality may have gone down since you last conceived. There could be ovulation problems. Especially if your periods have always been irregular. Other possible causes are endometriosis, pelvic adhesions, uterine fibroids or polyps, dysfunctional thyroid. This is when you need to consult with your OB-Gyn and don’t let them brush you off by telling you to just keep trying.

Some causes can be reserved simply by changing eating habits, taking nutritional supplements like Juice Plus and Green Pasture Cod Liver Oil, walking at least 20 minutes 3 days per week, and eating nourishing foods. Some people use essential oils to help with infertility.
According to the Essential Oils Desk Reference, “Natural progesterone creams when used at the beginning of the cycle (immediately following the end of your period) can improve fertility.  Some essential oils have hormone-like qualities that can support or improve fertility processes.” Young Living has two creams for women, Progessence Plus Serum and Prenolone+ Cream. Specifically formulated by Dr. Dan Purser and D. Gary Young, Progessence Plus maximizes the effects of progesterone by utilizing an innovative delivery system. To increase fertility, you can apply 2-4 drops on the lower back and lower abdomen 2-3 times daily at the beginning of the cycle. Prenolone+ Cream is designed for people who either have insufficient results with Progessence or have deficient levels of both estrogen and progesterone. Apply 1/4 to 1/2 tsp. one to two times daily for 21 continuous days. Discontinue use for 7 days, then repeat. Massage cream thoroughly into soft tissue areas of the body until absorbed.  For fertility specifically, apply to lower back and lower abdomen 2-3 times daily at the beginning of the cycle. The Desk Reference also suggests Clary Sage for infertility. It can be applied in the same way as the Progessence Serum or Prenolone Cream, and additionally can be applied to the reproductive vitaflex points around the front of the ankles in line with the anklebone, on the lower sides of the anklebone, and along the Achilles tendon. But it’s not just for women. The men can do their part also. Young Living has some great hormone balancing products for men, such as the Prostate Health supplement and Mister essential oil blend.  Both contribute to reproductive health in men, which of course will always increase the chances of conception.  The reproductive points are in similar areas for both men and women, so the Mister blend can be applied to the same areas around the ankles, and Prostate Health should be taken as directed.*
A good support system is very much needed. But most of the time, friends and family don’t know what to say. Waiting is hard. Sometimes it’s easier to find support via the internet or books. Couples can check out Hannah’s Prayer Ministries for support during their journey. They have an email list as well as a forum that couples can join. Other Christian websites that provide support for those walking down the path of infertility include Stepping StonesDancing Upon Barren Land, and Leah After Judah. If you know of any others, please let me know so that I can include them. The book Getting Pregnant When You Thought You Couldn’t: The Interactive Guide That Helps You Beat the Odds by Helane S. Rosenberg and Yakov M. Epstein has an excellent section on Secondary Infertility.

As you can see, although rarely talked about, the pain of infertility and secondary infertility are real. But you’re not alone. May the Lord bless you and strengthen you as you wait on Him. Take His hand, trust Him. He will direct your path.


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  1. Jennifer

    17 July

    Beautiful! Thank you for sharing! I have a support group on FB for anyone going through the journey of infertility, infant loss or misscarriage. It helps one cope and heal to know they are not alone. Thank you for sharing your heart. Blessings in Jesus name! Jenny H

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