Sweet friends, I want to introduce you to a dear friend of mine today. If you've read Infertility: A Silent Struggle and a God Who Hears, you probably recognize her. It's funny how God works sometimes. I went to college with several of Kristin's friends from high school. Small World! I am honored for her to post on Beauty in the Mess today to share a part of her story and how God gave her peace in the process. Thanks, Kristin!
I remember when we started talking about a second adoption.
Looking back on the peace I learned when I stopped trying to get pregnant, I realized in all the months of mothering Cate, I never once felt like I settled for something less by not birthing a biological child. I loved our independent adoption process. I didn’t feel like I missed out by not being pregnant. I felt free not having to wonder why my body didn’t make the right amounts of the right hormones or whether this month was the month our imperfect bodies would create life.
Adoption built my faith and my family. Adoption made me a mom.
Infertility was the hardest journey I’d personally experienced. The Israelites spent 40 years wandering through the wilderness, hoping for The Promised Land. Thankfully, our hard season wasn’t that long, but infertility was my wilderness. Like the Israelites, I complained and faced obstacles along the way but ended up being refined through the journey that taught me God is faithful to his people and his promises.
It’s impossible to find regret in that. Only hope. And we hoped God would make us a family of four.
Adoption was the door to my own Promised Land.
Because of that wilderness, the process to adopt was different the second time around. In April 2009, I started gathering paperwork to update our home study. I didn’t have to start from scratch this time and I knew a little more of what to expect. The emotions were fewer and the urgency less this time. Yes, the desire was there, but we didn’t have the same kind of time to dwell on it as we lived life with our then-23-month-old daughter.
At that time I studied “A Woman’s Heart” by Beth Moore with some ladies at church, learning about the Israelites’ experience building the Tabernacle and drawing parallels to the ways God dwells in his believers. God wanted the earthly Tabernacle to be a replica of a heavenly plan, so much so he instructed the Israelites how to build things, where to put them, and how to decorate them.
Yes, our God is someone who appreciates and notices details. Even knowing what God had done for us through Cate’s adoption, I clung to Beth Moore’s words: “God is detailed. He is not a God of generalities. He is a God of individuality. Do not let Satan convince you that God is not actively involved in the intricate design of your life. God has not missed a single stitch or left a stone unturned on your behalf; furthermore, His activity in the details of your life most often displays His glory and beauty.”
The same God builds families. He has different ways of doing so, but He’s the master planner of them all. And God has been in the business of making families for many generations. Beth Moore commented in one of the Bible study videos that every time God makes childlessness an issue in the Bible as he did with Elizabeth, Hannah and Sarah, he is preparing his people for a miracle.
Pregnancy comes easily to so many people – some of whom take the life inside of them for granted. But Beth Moore gave me new perspective on this: This thing that comes so naturally to some came supernaturally to Greg and me. I was chosen to become a mom this way and in the process witnessed God’s glory in a unique way.
Like Elizabeth said in Luke 1:25, “The Lord has done this for me.” I wondered how I would see God’s glory the next time.
More evidence of life not being what I expected, our attorney called a couple days after we met with him to tell him about the agency we planned to use for our second adoption to tell us he knew of a birth mom for us. I couldn’t even orchestrate this miraculous timing if I tried.
And Lord knows I tried.
A local, pregnant, unmarried 25-year-old who worked full time and was going back to school wanted a family to adopt her baby boy who was due at the beginning of December.
Yes! Really? Maybe. Wait …
We were supposed to leave on Saturday for Texas, where our itinerary included meeting with an adoption agency that seemed like a perfect fit for us. Yet the Monday before we were to leave I talked to a woman who was pregnant with a boy who needed a family.
We met with the agency anyway, but the more we talked about it the more clear our decision seemed to be. Conversations and prayers led to peace, erasing our hesitation. When we returned from Texas, we proceeded with this second independent, private adoption we weren’t expecting but were thrilled to embrace. Only God does something like that.
Benjamin Lucas was born November 23, 2009, three blocks from our house. His sister, who was almost 31 months old, was thrilled to welcome him into our family. Once again God knew the desires of our heart and fulfilled them in his time. He showed us his faithfulness in such a tangible way. This time it came into the world at 2:56 p.m. the Monday before Thanksgiving, weighing 7 pound 10 ounces and with a head full of dark hair.
Read more of Kristin Hill Taylor’s journey to and through motherhood in “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family,” an ebook that is available on Amazon. This story of how God made her family of four is her favorite to tell, but she shares other stories about faith, family, and friendship at www.kristinhilltaylor.com. She lives in Murray, Kentucky, with her college sweetheart husband and their two kids.