On days that my daughter doesn’t take a nap, I know what’s going to come after she drifts off to sleep.
I can only describe it as horror.
I am usually downstairs when the hysterical crying begins. I know the cry. We may have three young children, 2 of whom are mistaken as twins (and I’m sure triplets when the youngest gets older), but as their mama, I can tell them apart by their cries.
This cry breaks my heart.
I run upstairs and find my sweet girl sitting up in her bed, facing the wall, crying hysterically. She struggles to find words to explain the scene playing out in this nightmare. I pick her up and hold her trembling body close to mine. She can do nothing but cry uncontrollably. Tonight she managed to say, “Mommy! No! Come back!”. I can only imagine the fear and aloneness that is her reality in this moment.
She’s in this strange place between sleep and awake.
We can’t make her wake up. I’ve tried. I’ve brought her into my room and turned on the lights. I told her that it’s okay and she needs to wake up.
There’s only one thing that will calm the trembling, and allow her to drift back to sleep and rest calmly.
Jesus.
I sing “Jesus” to the tune of Jesus Loves Me . So simple. So powerful. So moving.
He brings Philippians 2:8-11 to mind, “And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
Each time God reminds me just how powerful and mighty He is. And I am brought to tears remembering all the times in the day that I tried to do it on my own.
The time when my frustration level shot through the roof because something didn’t go my way and I forgot about His grace.
The time when hurtful words spewed from my mouth because I forgot about His love for His children even when they mess up.
And I grip my child, holding her close, singing at the top of my lungs with tears streaming down my face. Because I don’t deserve this.
This blessing I’m holding in my arms. This life that He has given me. I don’t deserve it. Any of it. My heart is selfish and ugly. Oh the filth.
But He gently reminds me of His love. God knew that we could never do it on our own. That’s why He made the ultimate sacrifice. His Son. Jesus.
Dear one, I don’t know your story. But God does. He hasn’t left you. He’s waiting for you. Right where you are. He loves you more than you could ever imagine.
Will you join me in singing this day (or night)? Let’s sing it to the tune of Jesus Loves Me.
Jesus Jesus Je-sus
Jesus Jesus Je-sus
Jesus Jesus Je-sus
Jesus Jesus Je-sus
Yes, Jesus Loves Me
Yes, Jesus Loves Me
Yes, Jesus Loves Me
The Bible Tells Me So
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